YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
