if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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