So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
