so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Couch. On fire.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
