I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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