So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
