Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
