You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
