we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
