yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Randomize