How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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