If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
