I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
