hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet he comes in French.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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