R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
