What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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