Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
