Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
