I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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