paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
