I've blown a few things in my day
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
