my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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