Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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(512): View more from Texas

At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

What'd you guys eat?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Literally everything that was frozen.

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(313): View more from Michigan

is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday

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(408): View more from California

Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

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(330): View more from Ohio

We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.

(580): View more from Oklahoma

It would have only made it one day at my place.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right

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