We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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