i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Drunk is not a location!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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