Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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