There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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