you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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