I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
