No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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