Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize