It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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