You smell like stripper and shame
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
