Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
