he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Success! We fucked roommates!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
