Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We were destined to go to rehab together
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
