he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
