just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
