I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
