dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
