Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
