The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
