he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
