the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
