6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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