I can tuck mytits in my pants
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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