I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
