help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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