Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize