return my video game
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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