They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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