Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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