i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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