Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
