As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
