Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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