Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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