It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
