Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
