Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
