Sry I called you an 8
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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