And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
