end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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